Let's Cruise!

Cruise Humor

  A pan-handler was caught trying to sneak on-board a luxury cruise liner.  He was caught by the purser who threw him off the ship yelling, "Beggars can't be cruisers!"

A musician who recently joined the orchestra on a cruise ship was having a hard time keeping up with them all.  Finally, the Captain said "Either you learn to keep time or I throw you overboard.  It's sync or swim time!"

After a sweet little 90 yr. old lady booked her cruise she asked the agent, "Do you also book my hotels to stay in while I'm cruising?"  She thought the cruise ship was like an airplane......it just took you there!  ( obviously her first cruise )

A crew member on a luxury cruise ship was suffering from a very bad cold and begged the ship's doctor for relief.  The doctor prescribed a few pills, but after a week the crew person was still very sick.  So, the doctor then gave him several shots with no results.  "Okay this is what I want you to do" said the doctor.  "Go to the bow of the ship, take off your clothes and lean into the freezing mist for 30 minutes."  "I'll do it Sir, but aren't you afraid I'll catch pneumonia?"   "Maybe  said the doctor, but at least I know how to cure it!"

Port Everglades - World's Best Cruise Port

Port Everglades was originally known as Lake Mabel, Port Everglades and was officially established as a deep water harbor in 1927.  It has a reputation as the "World's Best Cruise Port" and more than 5,300 ships call at Port Everglades each year.  It has also been reported that 10,800 passengers pass through their building on turn around days.  It's name is somewhat misleading because Port Everglades is NOT part of the wetland ecosystem known as The Florida Everglades.  The seaport is on the south east coast of a peninsula within 3 cities of Fort Lauderdale, Hollywood and Dania Beach.  Some of the cruise lines based in Port Everglades are:  Discovery Cruises, SeaEscape Cruises, Celebrity, Costa, Radisson Seven Seas Cruises, Princess, MSC Cruise Line, Imperial Majesty Cruises, Holland America Line, Crystal Cruises, Royal Caribbean, Seaborn Cruise Line and Silversea Cruises.

Win a Cruise for two on Oceania Cruises

Between February 2, 2009 through March 2,2009 sign up for a chance to win a free cruise!  No purchase is necessary.  The prize is a cruise for two in a veranda stateroom on Oceania Cruises for their November 15, 2009 sailing.  For more information and the full rules go to:  www.cruisecritic.com/contests             GOOD LUCK!

Ship Trivia Time......

 
QUESTIONS
1.  What ship's lookout was miffed when his request for binoculars was denied in 1912?
2.  What was a ship called Ancon the first to travel through on August 15, 1914?
3.  What cruise line began with "The Big Red Boat"?
4.  In 1912 the Atlantic Ocean was the site of what tragedy?
5.  What was the name of the boat that brought the Statue of Liberty across the Atlantic Ocean  from France in 1885?
6.  How did we get the expression "he/she is under the weather?"
7.  How far can the cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2" move for each gallon of diesel it burns?

ANSWERS
1.  The Titanic
2.  The Panama Canal
3.  Disney Cruise Line - although it no longer exists, the "Big Red Boat" is fondly remembered.
4.  The Titanic hitting an iceberg
5.  The statue arrived in N.Y. Harbor in June,1885 aboard the French frigate, Isere.
6.  In the old sailing days when ships were cluttered and unsanitary, if a sailor were ill, he would be brought up to a semi-covered "weather deck" so he wouldn't infect others.  Hence, the saying, if someone is ill he/she is to be under the weather.
7.  Six inches!

Go on a Theme Cruise

  Carnival Paradise - Rock the Soap
Mix and mingle with your favorite actors from "All my Children", "One Life to Live", "General Hospital", "Days of our Lives", "As the World Turns", and "The Young and the Restless".  This sails round-trip from Los Angeles with a call in Ensenada, Mexico, March 20-23, 2009.  Call 1-888-CARNIVAL for more information or your travel agent.

Hogs on the High Seas Mexican Riviera Rally
Mariner of the Seas on March 25 - April 5,2009 will have a great "Hogs on the High Seas" cruise.  You don't have to own a Harley and you can't take your bike on-board, but you will be with like-minded souls who want to have fun.  Approximately $300,000. in give-aways and prizes will be given out.  You can contact Royal Caribbean at 1-800-256-6649

Scrap-Booking Cruise - Grandeur of the Seas
On June 13-18,2009 this is a great one for scrap-booking lovers.  Special course includes a 24-hour crop room, extensive work space, gifts and prizes.  Contact Royal Caribbean at 1-800-256-6649.

Passengers Rescued on Antarctic Cruise Ship

All 65 passengers and 41 crew members are safe, after being rescued on a cruise ship that ran aground off Antarctic.  The Ocean Nova ran aground on Tuesday amid high winds and was unable to break free during the rising evening tide as officials had hoped.  This happened in the middle of their 15 day voyage to explore the polar circle.  All 106 people aboard were taken aboard the Clipper Adventure and then taken to Ushuaia, Argentina.

Host a Group Cruise and Sail Free

 This is surprisingly easy and fun to put together.  Usually, booking 8 cabins is considered a group and may qualify for numerous amenities.  This could mean:  one free cruise ticket, a bottle of champagne or wine for each cabin, or a reduced rate for all persons in the group.  Of course, the larger the group the more amenities you would qualify for.  Contact a reputable travel agent and ask him/her to help you with purchasing the tickets, the insurance, etc.  Once you have the cabin and dining room assignments the passengers are on their own.  You may however, want to check the various forms of transportation to the port and make arrangements for that.  There are numerous shuttles and buses you could contract with and charge each passenger an additional transportation bus fee.

How is the Recession Affecting Cruise Lines

Government officials have officially said there is a recession.  There is no doubt that 2009 represents an uncertain environment for all industries and consumers.  Parent companies of Cruise Lines have all stated that although bookings are down, they are still filling their cabins.  According to the Cruise Line International Association (CLIA) they predict almost 34 million Americans intend to take a cruise in the next three years.

Many CLIA member lines are offering hard to resist offers and special promotions in response to the economic crisis.  Some of these include:  kids sail free plans, enhanced shipboard credit offers, free air fare and/or shore excursions and new offers are appearing daily.  Also, most cruise lines have decided to drop the fuel supplement charges that was in place recently.  I personally expect cruise prices to slowly come down, but not drastically.  A cruise is still one of the best vacations you can take for your money.

Dear Diary:

Dear Diary:

MONDAY:  What a wonderful cruise this is going to be!  I felt singularly honored this evening as the Captain asked me to dine at his table.

TUESDAY:  I spent the entire afternoon on the bridge with the Captain.  He is so charming.

WEDNESDAY:  The Captain made several proposals to me unbecoming an officer and a gentleman.

THURSDAY:  Tonight the Captain threatened to sink the ship if I do not give in to his indecent proposals!

FRIDAY:  This afternoon I saved 1600 lives.....TWICE!

A Cruise Ship Made of Snow

 Jerry Arzooyan and his wife had just received the latest magazine from Royal Caribbean and they were dreaming about taking a cruise.  Mr.Arooyan is a clay sculptor with the Ford Motor Company, so he and his wife decided to build a ship and a dolphin in their front yard with snow.  The snow and temperature was perfect for sculpting, so it only took 6 hours for him and his wife to complete their project.  They're planning to take a cruise next year, but in the mean time all they have to do is look out their front window to see a cruise ship and a dolphin.